you play league of legends? AND world of warcraft?
Here’s the first trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey. Watch it, then forget all about it
Seriously, I implore you… don’t buy the book, don’t watch the movie, not even out of curiosity, because this crap has made enough money and there’s nothing to be curious about except really really awful writing that not even a tiny bit of kink can save. This started out as Twilight fan fiction, just remember that.
Unremarkable people enter a (mutually?) satisfying sexual relationship. Hijinks ensue. Ugh, honestly, just watch The Secretary. At least it has James Spader playing the creep you know he is (ALSO NAMED MR GREY DOE).
Oh, hello Tumblr. I didn’t see you there. Please have a seat. We have much to discuss.
As it happens, I am running up the Sky Tower. Why would anyone do that. Well, as most things: for money. Oh not my money. Hah! Just look around my mahogany paneled library and the fine [insert preferred liquor of choice] you have in front of you.
No, this is for charity. Leukemia and Blood Cancer New Zealand, to be precise (swirls [insert preferred liquor of choice]).
I am hurling myself up 51 floors (read 1,103 steps) on August 1st, in what is actually the most physically grueling thing I have ever done (legend has it, it’s worse than childbirth*).
What is this “Sky” “Tower” I speak of? Can it be that bad? It’s just the tallest freestanding building in the Southern Hemisphere.
Behold Auckland City’s skyline. It’s the Giant Glowing Pain Needle jabbing at the sky.
If you are feeling like the generous, benevolent philanthrope I know you are, please chuck in whatever you are comfortable with at my fundraising page.
You may be thinking - why should I give money to Leukemia and Blood Cancer? Like, isn’t cancer bad? Why am supporting something that’s bad?
That’s right! Cancer IS bad. But you aren’t giving money directly to the disease (what do non-sentient collections of neoplastic growth even need money for). Your donations will go to LBCs to support their programs for patients, their families and funding research in leukaemia, lymphoma and myeloma. So your money actually goes towards FIGHTING cancer and helping patients (I know, crazy right?! They should, like, totally change their name to Leukemia and Blood Cancer Is Bad So We Are Trying To Stop It And Like Support People And Stuff, like omg that would be so much less confusing, ya know?).
Who am I though? Why have I asked you here? Why am I holding you against your will?
I am a scientist working with the New Zealand Blood Service - also a PhD student studying gene expression in the cells that grow into your mature red blood cells. Specifically your red blood cells. Yes you. I’ve done an undergrad with a focus in cancer research and therapeutics. You could trust me when I tell you that the work these guys do is important and your donations are going to a worthy cause or take a look for yourself.
Many of us have been affected by cancer, either directly or through friends and family. So please, anonymous internet denizen, donate what you can spare or signal boost - either would go a long way to helping a deserving charity.
FYI - my fitness isn’t great so scaling the Giant Glowing Pain Needle isn’t going to be fun. Below is a candid shot of me doing Science**.
*Full disclosure: this information was provided by a crazed hermit who I believe has never SEEN a child let, alone understand the concept of childbirth.
** This Science may or may not have happened at a London bar. No really, I’m an actual scientist. 100% legit. Where are you going why don’t you believe me I know about DNA and stuff it’s my job please don’t go
Aaaand just one last link to the fundraising page. Wish my luck on my date with the Giant Glowing Pain Needle.
Interesting infographical look at how a few thousand years of human intervention can result in a deliciously juicy summer treat. Most interesting? The percentage of sugar a peach holds has not gone up that much, only the edible flesh ratio and percent water have.
I should add that in this graphic, “artificial” just means that the modern peach was artificially selected by farmers who chose which variants to propagate, as opposed to being subject to the unguided processes of natural selection. I worry about the misconception that “artificial” here might be misconstrued into meaning “inferior” or “dangerous” or “fake”. It is none of those things.
Don’t fear the fruits of science. Especially the juicy ones.
(Breaking down the chemical fear and overuse of scare quotes that surround the “natural vs. artificial” food movement is the whole point of James Kennedy’s infographics, like his famous list of ingredients in an all-natural banana, I just want to make sure that it comes across to people not familiar with his work!)
I came out to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now